Legal Professionals of Hirsch & Ehlenberger

3 tips for handling an aggressive spouse during divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 23, 2021 | Divorce

If there is one thing that can make a divorce much more difficult, it’s trying to handle an aggressive, angry spouse. Whether they’re refusing to communicate with you or break down every conversation into a conflict, it can be hard to work with them, to negotiate with them or to try to get them to come to the table for a discussion.

The good thing to remember is that there are methods for handling spouses like this during divorces. Here are three ideas that you can use to make your divorce easier.

  1. Hear them out first

Sometimes, a person is so upset, angry or guilty that they’ll continue to interrupt you each time you speak. They may be trying to clear their name to place blame by doing so. Instead of letting this break down your talks, try a new option of letting them speak first. Let them tell you their story or their recollection of events. Don’t interrupt. By hearing them out, they may be more willing to listen to you in return.

  1. Ask to communicate through your attorneys

In some cases, it’s beneficial to have your attorney work as an intermediary. You may ask that all of their complaints or concerns are sent to your attorney directly. Then, your attorney can get in touch with you to talk to you about how you want to proceed. In particularly contentious divorces, your and your spouse’s attorneys may speak more than you and your spouse do.

  1. Stop responding, use your boundaries and build your case

Finally, remember that you don’t have to respond to abusive or aggressive emails, text messages or phone calls. Keep evidence of these communications, and then start building your case with your attorney’s help. In severe cases, you may be able to ask the judge for a restraining order or to limit the ways in which your estranged spouse can communicate with you.

Your attorney will understand how to handle situations like yours and be able to provide you more support to get through it. They’ll help you finalize your divorce, so you can move on.


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