Going through divorce can be a trying experience. And there’s a good chance that you’re going to ride a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the process. But one of the most powerful responses you might feel is anger. You could be mad at your spouse for not giving you a chance to make things right in your marriage, mad at the circumstances that drove you and your spouse apart, or maybe even mad at yourself for a mistake that you made or perceived opportunities that were missed that could’ve righted things with your spouse.
Regardless of the cause of your anger, it’s important that you find a way to appropriately cope with it and address it. That’s the only way to protect your health and ensure that you don’t make costly divorce-related decisions out of spite or in a reactionary manner. So, let’s look at some steps you can take to manage your anger as you navigate your divorce.
Your anger might come in waves, making it unpredictable, or it may be incessant. Regardless, you might feel like it’s uncontrollable. But here are some tips that you can use to get a better grip on the anger you’re feeling:
- Use writing as an outlet: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be a powerful way release tension and find meaning in your feelings. You can either create a journal where you express yourself, or you can write letters to family members, friends, your spouse, or even yourself. It’s a good idea to refrain from mailing these letters, though, as you don’t want your thoughts and feelings out there in a way that can be used against you.
- Talk about your feelings with your support network: You have family members and friends who care about you. Instead of saying something to your spouse that you may come to regret, discuss your anger with those who are close to you and who support you. This can help lift a burden off your shoulders, and these individuals might be able to give you valuable insight and perspective that can help you better control your anger.
- Seek professional help: There’s absolutely no shame in seeking assistance from a therapist or counselor. One of these professionals can help you address the underlying issues that may be contributing to your anger, and they can teach you valuable coping skills that allow you to get a better handle on your mental and emotional well-being.
- Discover your triggers: There are probably certain people, places, and phrases that spur your anger. If you can identify them, then you can work to avoid them so that you stay in control of your emotional responses.
- Give yourself time to grieve: Losing your marriage can feel like losing a part of yourself. Don’t try to suppress any sadness or disappointment that you feel. You need to give yourself time to focus on the loss and what you can do to build the future that’s ahead of you. So, rest up, eat right, and consider taking up new hobbies that shift your mind to a healthy and happy you.
Your emotional, psychological, and financial well-being are on the line when you go through divorce. That’s why you must have a strong plan in place to navigate the process.
