The emotional, psychological and financial implications of your divorce are significant. That’s why getting through marriage dissolution can be so difficult. Unfortunately, for many individuals this is a driving force to rush through their divorce. Hurrying through the process can be dangerous, though, as it puts you at risk of agreeing to a settlement that’s contrary to your best interests.
But you don’t have to fall prey to that outcome. Instead, you can find ways to set boundaries that shield you from a lot of the conflict associated with contentious divorces and give you the confidence needed to effectively navigate settlement negotiations and litigation.
But how can you take control of boundary setting in your divorce so that you protect your own wellbeing and ability to effectively engage in the process? Let’s look at some tips that you might find helpful to implement during your marriage dissolution.
Tips for establishing healthy boundaries during divorce
Getting through divorce can be tough, but establishing boundaries can help. So, as you proceed with your marriage dissolution, consider doing the following:
- Determine where each of you will live and when you’ll see each other: This can be a difficult first step in your divorce, but it’s a must if you want to establish healthy physical boundaries. So, consider where you and your spouse will live and how you’ll establish separate living spaces. Specifying when you’ll see each other will also reduce the risk that you’ll be taken by surprise when your spouse shows up on your doorstep or when they bump into you at the grocery store. By setting clear expectations here, you give yourself the physical space you need to get through this challenging time in your life.
- Use therapy to help you determine how best to talk about your divorce: As you navigate your marriage dissolution, it’s inevitable that you’ll have to discuss the nature of your divorce and how to deal with complex legal issues. These conversations can evoke an emotional response that negatively impacts your daily living. By discussing this issue with a therapist, though, you may be able to identify certain time and circumstances during which your divorce can be discussed in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing. A therapist might also teach you coping skills so that you’re better equipped to handle the emotionality associated with these conversations.
- Separate bank accounts, income and liabilities: To set financial boundaries, you need to start establishing your own financial life. The best way to do this is to create your own accounts and work towards separating income and debts. If your spouse won’t cooperate with you here, then you may need to seek guidance from the court on a temporary basis while the final outcome of your divorce is pending.
- Setting communications standards: Communicating with your spouse may create a lot of stress and anxiety. That’s common, but you shouldn’t normalize feeling that way. Instead, deciding on the best way to communicate with your spouse in a nonconfrontational way, and setting guidelines on what can be discussed via email, text and phone conversations, can set communication boundaries that help you feel safe throughout the process.
Competently navigate your divorce while protecting your wellbeing
You have a lot to contemplate as you navigate divorce. While you need to focus on the legalities involved in the process, you also have to take care of yourself so that you can properly focus on the future ahead of you. If you want to learn more about how to competently and confidently proceed with your marriage dissolution, then please continue to read our blog.
