Co-parenting is a challenging undertaking. Adults who previously lived together have to find ways to work cooperatively despite ending their romantic relationship with one another. It is standard for parents to share both parenting time and decision-making authority.
Every custody exchange creates an opportunity for conflict. Parents might start arguments when they interact with one another. They may also take issue with each other’s parenting practices. One parent may be upset that the other allows unlimited screen time or doesn’t follow the current bedtime routine for the children.
Can one parent control what the other does during their parenting time?
Parents share authority, not just parenting time
In a shared custody scenario, both adults in the family typically receive an allocation of both parenting time and legal authority. Both parents should uphold the parenting schedule to the best of their ability and work to accommodate one another when changes are necessary.
Parents also have to cooperate regarding legal custody or decision-making authority. Neither parent typically has the legal right to make major, life-altering decisions for the children without the input of the other. If one parent wants to switch the school that the children attend, they usually need to discuss the matter with the other parent and secure their approval first.
However, shared legal custody also means that each parent has the right to make minor parenting decisions during their time with the children. They choose what clothing to provide and what meals the children eat. They set the rules that apply at their home and make choices about discipline.
Typically, neither parent has the right or the legal authority to force the other into compliance during their parenting time. While it can be frustrating, parents generally have to let go of their need for control while their children are with the other parent.
That being said, if one parent makes decisions that might endanger the children, that could be reason to take action. If one parent doesn’t give the children medication that they require or neglects to meet their basic needs, that might justify attempts to modify the current custody arrangements.
Parents who understand the implications of shared legal custody can avoid unnecessary conflict and recognize when taking action might be necessary.
