Legal Professionals of Hirsch & Ehlenberger

Can my lawyer communicate with my spouse for me?

On Behalf of | Mar 6, 2023 | Divorce

When you plan to file for divorce, you likely anticipate a strong emotional response from your spouse. People often become very angry upon learning about the upcoming end of a marriage and may lash out verbally in an attempt to hurt their spouse or manipulate them into changing their mind.

If you have decided to file for divorce, you may hope to avoid conflict as much as possible. For example, you may make arrangements to move out shortly after serving your spouse so that you won’t have the stress of cohabitating in the early divorce process. You may want to minimize how much you see or talk to one another. You may also be wondering if your lawyer can manage the communication with your spouse so that you don’t have to communicate directly.

Yes, lawyers can communicate on behalf of clients

In Virginia, a lawyer who has entered into an attorney-client relationship with someone has the authority to speak on their behalf and potentially even sign contracts for them. The lawyer that you select to represent you in your family law matters can therefore potentially manage all of your communication with your spouse.

However, direct communication may not be possible for long if your spouse retains their own attorney. At that point, the lawyers will communicate with one another. Your lawyer can even negotiate with your spouse’s representation on your behalf. If your lawyer has already thoroughly discussed your priorities and expectations regarding the divorce, they can potentially manage the bulk of the process without involving you directly.

You can maintain a buffer after divorce

Some divorcing spouses with children recognize that direct communication will eventually become necessary. Lawyers won’t indefinitely serve as intermediaries once couples have settled their disputes and finalized their divorces.

Many couples turn to co-parenting apps in the first year or two after divorce so that their communication won’t become overly emotional. Using a parenting app means that there is a written record of everything the parents say and that all details regarding their shared responsibilities are centralized in one convenient location for easy reference.

The lawyer representing you in your divorce proceedings or custody negotiations can help you include terms in your arrangements that require written communication so that you won’t have to deal with the intense emotional communication so common in the early stages of co-parenting arrangements.

By the time you decide to change those rules, you may have adjusted to your new relationship. Proactively seeking to minimize conflict during your divorce can reduce how traumatic the process is for you and any children in your family.


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