Co-parenting comes with many challenges. Even if you and your co-parent have an amicable relationship, there are likely going to be times when you disagree.
No co-parenting relationship is perfect. There is usually behavior on the part of both parents that could use improvement.
You might not know just how healthy your co-parenting relationship is. Like all of us, you may become entrenched in our own views and opinions, being blind to how this is harming your ability to be a good co-parent.
Setting and respecting boundaries
There are several signs of a good, healthy co-parenting relationship. One of these is having boundaries. You cannot control your co-parent’s life and you do not have a say in what they do.
Additionally, you and your co-parent might have different co-parenting styles. You should not try to change your co-parent’s style to match yours. The exception is if your co-parent is doing something that is directly putting your child in danger. Other than that, you must let go and recognize that you cannot control the situation.
Have a routine, but be flexible
A healthy co-parenting relationship involves striking the right balance between routine and flexibility. If you have a custody order in place through the court, stick to the schedule. This helps your child feel stable and secure because they know where they will be and when.
At the same time, remember that raising a child, and life in general, is unpredictable. Things may happen that disrupt your custody schedule and it is important to remain flexible. Your child getting sick, a change in your work schedule or a school shutting down for the day are all events that require flexibility and potentially changing your agreed-upon schedule.
The importance of good communication
Communicate honestly and directly with each other. When problems arise, it could be tempting to ignore your co-parent, but this will only increase the conflict. It will also set a bad example for your children, who look to you to learn how to solve problems.
These are just a few examples of what makes a good co-parenting relationship. It can take time to get there, but a good co-parenting relationship will serve your children well in the long run.
